Getting Back On Track Is Not Fun Or Easy.

First off, Chicago was awesome. Fantastic, wonderful, amazing, etc, etc, etc. I sort of stuck with my travel plans, I guess, but mostly I just did what I wanted. It was delicious. And not the unhealthiest weekend in the land, by any means.

But Ugh. I haven’t eaten my standard Sarah Meal Plan or exercised my standard Sarah Exercise Plan since Thursday, and this is how I feel right now:

Fat (as in gigantic)
Not psyched for the day ahead of me

Taking the time to recognize that the lazy feelings of I-Just-Want-To-Sit-On-The-Sofa-And-Watch-Bravo-Marathons-And-Eat-Cereal-All-Day-Long after a few days away from the typical routine of healthy living stuff is important for me, so I thought I’d share the process on here.

Right now I would much rather continue to eat what’s convenient rather than prepare food. I would much rather be a lazy butt than put on my running shoes. I’m mad at winter for existing and not wanting me to exercise outside in warm sunshine, so want to use that as an excuse to not exercise until April. Whine Whine Whine Stomp Stomp Stomp take a nap eat cheesecake. I don’t even like cheesecake all that much.

My body is lacking the feel-good stuff that it typically has when I’m treating it well – of course I feel unmotivated and lazy. I haven’t eaten my standard Sarah Meal Plan or exercised my standard Sarah Exercise Plan since Thursday. Before getting my act together with this health stuff a few years ago, I must have always felt this miserable. I’ll never stop being amazed with the interplay between treat your body and how you feel mentally.

I haven’t been out-of-control-stuff-face by any means (however, I did eat a mini pack of my former love, Mini Cadbury Eggs—they weren’t as glorious as I imagined them to be, which is good, since easter candy will be on the shelves until the end of April). And I haven’t been idle, either (there was a lot of walking this weekend). I just feel off because I haven’t been treating my body 100%. And, since I feel off, it’s really flipping hard to start up the routines again. ‘cause I don’t wanna.

But now, after a sleepy stumble through the grocery store yesterday, I have a kitchen full of the good stuff, so it’ll be easy to eat what I need to eat. I slept for a beautiful 12.5 hours last night, so I no longer am a zombie.  I just need to hold on and force the good choices until 1:00 today, when it’s Killer Fitness Class time. Breaking a sweat will bring back the Go-Sarah-Go-You’re-Strong-and-Healthy-and-HURRAH feelings. Soon, making healthy choices will be the easiest thing in the world. And BAM—back on track.  Everything is in place for a healthy and wonderful day. I just wish I could fast-forward about six hours so that I can feel now how I will feel later today. Because right now, I want to eat a gigantic corn muffin and I don’t want to exercise. Ever.

Moral of the story? Since I’m not feeling strong and healthy right now, it’s really easy to forget what it’s like to feel strong and healthy, so it’s really hard to act like I’m strong and healthy. Realizing that the reason I don’t feel motivated to get back on track is because my head is messed up from not being on track is what is forcing me back on track. Does that make sense? I have no idea.

The mental battle of getting back on track stinks and is often only won when one forces herself to stop being stupid and freaking make the right healthy decisions. Knowing how great I will feel in six hours is what is pushing me back to my routines.

Six hours from now, high on endorphins and grape tomatoes, I will read this is and laugh.


7 Comments to “Getting Back On Track Is Not Fun Or Easy.”

  1. Ha! So true. We have all felt that way about ourselves during a diet.

    After a stumble, the hardest thing is to get back into that routine. We somehow convince ourselves to give up rather than simply start over.

    Keep weighing yourself. That is my main tool to keep me moving in the right direction even after a few mistakes.

    Forcing yourself to watch that scale move up again, is all the motivation I need to keep myself on the straight and narrow path.

    Keep up the great work. 😀

  2. I kind of want you to be my life coach. Love you and your blog. Let’s hang out soon 🙂

  3. isn’t it funny/awesome how the not so good for you things you used to love now just don’t taste as good? hurray for better eating & living:~D

  4. GO-SARAH-GO!!!!!!!!!YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!WOOHOO!!!!!

    Glad you had a good time!

  5. Sarah, we took our daughter to Great Wolf Lodge around the same time you were in Chicago and I experienced all the same things you did upon return. I, too, managed to drag myself on track and felt immediately better for it. It’s such a critical time, that transition back to real life. I’m getting a lot better at just flowing back into my real life than I used to, which I consider a good sign.

    As an aside, this trip to the water park was one of those pivotal times in this journey. Because I’m at around the weight you started at, I think you’ll understand how hard it was to get in my swimsuit and participate in water fun with my 9 year old daughter. It required lots of self talk about not allowing myself to miss this time with Emma, and about living the life I want to live right now, with no more waiting for the magic weight. She’s growing up so fast and I’m done letting my weight stop me from experiencing it with her. My husband knows how tough this was for me and at one point he asked how I was doing and I told him I felt like a good parent in an area I’d always felt I failed. He’s always picked up the slack on doing the physical stuff with Emma and this time we were bouncing around in the wave pool like a family and it felt fanstastic. My daughter was so happy to have me there with her.

    There was a rather awful moment when I got on the elevator with Emma and it was kind of crowded (luckily not in my swimsuit at this time) and when the doors slid open and I stepped on and some kid says, “whoa, now there really won’t be any room — I mean wow…” — and he’s talking to everyone in the elevator and gesturing toward me. He basically went on and on about it until we got to my floor. I’d been feeling strong, like a great parent, and this really rocked me. You know, the fear that someone will say something mean to you and then it actually happens! 🙂 Anyhow, it took me about an hour to recover with lots of thought about what I SHOULD have said to the kid. In the end, he was just a clueless little kid and not saying anything was exactly the right thing to do, especially in front of my daughter, but it was hard. All in all, rest of the trip went well and I got back in the water a few hours later, despite my urge to hide in the room. Progress.

    Anyhow, I guess I’m sharing this with you (and your readers) because your blog really speaks to me. Thanks for your postings and for listening!


  6. I’ve been on program now about 11 weeks. It’s been a solid start and I’m very excited to see my life slowly changing. I was on such a great schedule with 5:30 a.m. workouts 5 days a week, walking during the weekends, meal chhoices, etc. . .

    Unfortunately, my childcare changed for 3 weeks and no early AM workouts. I was like a lost puppy. Now my childcare is back and I’m just not ready for those early workouts. I’m determined thought to walk over the weekend and start back Monday AM bright and early. I miss it and miss how it was changing my body, breathing, etc. . .

    Plus, this week has been complete STRESS (work, PTA, home stuff, negotiating on a potential home, life in general and the list goes on). The old me would be eating non-stop, but I haven’t binged one bit. Woo Hoo!! I feel like I’ve stepped over a HUGE milestone. I’m still trying to take this one day at a time.

    Your blog is helping me on this journey. THANK YOU!!!!!


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