Posts tagged ‘weight watchers’

January 2, 2012

On Making 2012 About Health, Not Weight

I am conflicted over the fact that getting healthier comes with a huge emphasis on the scale, so as many people look at their new years resolutions with aims to get healthier, I wanted to write something to hopefully get everyone thinking about where they want their goals to lie.

Last year, before LLH existed, I guest posted on my friend (and former babysitter’s!) blog, and now, since I’m in the re-committing to the blogging process and am still pretty busy getting my life in order/organizing post-move, I thought I’d plagarize from Past-Sarah, with some edits & added thoughts. Hopefully it’s not so jambled — honestly, this is me trying to put up a good Welcome 2012 Post without all of the work… baby steps to becoming a regular poster again! 

I’ve done this weight loss thing from two different angles, and am going to tell my story again, in hopes that it will help others get a healthy & maintainable mindset from the start of their New Year.

As I’ve written before, on January 8 of 2006, at 305+ pounds and 19 years old, I went for a 12 mile walk all around my town. I was sick of my fatness defining me, and I wanted to get rid of it as fast as I could. And I’m a determined person, once I decide to take action, so for 5 months, I hardly ate (except after weighing-in, when I would stuff my face in celebration) and I exercised like a madwoman. I hit my goal of losing 10 pounds a month for 5 consecutive months. I was hungry, I was tired, but I was happy to overlook that because the scale was going down as quickly as I thought it should.

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September 27, 2011

On Balancing Work, Self, and Healthiness

Yesterday, for the first time since April or so, I found the bottom of my work inbox. 

Also, for the first time in just about as long, I’m back on weight watchers and trying not to accidentally eat all of the food.

Probably a good thing, right? (that would be my weight tracking chart thing. as you can see, well. whoops)

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June 23, 2011

How To De-Arse One’s Head

I’d say that, for the vast majority of the spring, I had my head up my arse and my mind on the next bingey trip I’d take to whole foods to “have salad bar for dinner,” which we all know means a massive amount of somewhat healthy food, followed by a pint of ice cream for dessert, and probably one of those mini loaves (“single serve” or whatever) of cornbread for an “appetizer,” which I would enjoy on the walk from Whole Foods to my apartment. I got to that “food is my vice — I can’t help it” mode of thought, and, despite continuing my (somewhat excellent) exercise regimen, I’d rarely have two binge-free days in a row. I wasn’t really tracking my food or really even aware of the quantity of extra food I was eating. It wasn’t exactly surprising that clothes were becoming tight (which is a bit of a problem, since I’d been giving my clothes away the moment they got too big), but I have to admit that when I got on the scale and saw that I had gained back SEVENTEEN pounds, I was kind of shocked. I mean, I guess a box of granola isn’t a smart late night snack when dinner was a bag of chips & pile of guacamole….?

Yup, this is one of those posts that, as I’m writing, I’m thinking, “holy crap, Sarah–you really want to share this with the world?!”. But I do, because I know that these thoughts/head issues are not ones that only I have. So I’ll continue to share, with hopes that what I write is not only for my benefit.

I was waiting for something to click in my head so that I would stop with the excessive, uncontrolled eating. I figured that it was just some phase I was in, and that it would eventually pass and I would feel in control of myself again soon. But then I remembered thinking the EXACT same thing just about every day on my way up to 300+ pounds. So, rather than waiting for something to click, I forced the click. Fake ’til you make it, right?

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May 16, 2011

Brain Window on the Importance of Moderate Self Elevation

My head’s been in a funny place re: food relations recently, so it’s time for a brainwindow.

More pints of frozen yogurt, cookies, cereal, and candy have made their way into my body recently than are completely necessary. I used to not have a tough time turning down these foods at all, but recently there’s been a lot of, “well, Sarah, if you eat it now, you won’t continue to crave it and eat more crap later. Might as well eat that and get it out of your system!”

Now, at first that makes sense, right? But it’s actually complete bullshit. As a fat person, I have a history of being excellent at justifying things, and as an english major, I have a history of being excellent at convincing myself that if something is justifiable, it’s probably the best path to take. But that’s another issue.

On the side of my fridge, I keep a (quite neglected) list of potential future blog posts, and “Brain Window” has been on it for a while now. Whenever “Brain Window” appears on that list, it’s because I know my head needs a bit more attention to that I normally grant it. This time, I wrote “Brain Window” down intending to uncover the reasons that I haven’t been so consistent at tracking my food or miles moved for the last, oh, month or so. Tracking foods & keeping track of what you put in your body is weight watchers rule #1. In addition to not being consistent about tracking (i have been tracking good days, but the second I think about beer of frozen yogurt, I stop), I haven’t gotten on a scale in quite some time (and I’m probably up about 5 pounds from the all time low). That, I don’t have a problem with. That is fine–I can live a healthy life without the scale, but I can’t live a healthy life feeling like I need to wear blinders whenever I go to the grocery store. The scale will start to move in the right direction when my head starts to move in the right direction. It all comes back to headstuff. All of it.

Last night, when catching up on the Biggest Loser (a show which I enjoy a lot more now that it’s giving a more realistic portrayal of the mental stuff that goes behind losing a freak ton of weight, despite the INCREDIBLY unrealistic (and I’d potentially argue unhealthy) viewpoint of weight loss that the show presents to America), I realized that moving forward will require my headspace to actually move backwards. The size 12/14 Sarah has been around long enough that she’s forgotten about the size 24/26 Sarah and the pride that all of those in-between-sized-Sarahs felt about the shrinking/healthitizing process.

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April 9, 2011

Back to Weight Loss, Okay, Sarah?

There has been recent brain declouding regarding my weight loss journey, past and future, and I’d like to share it here. This may be mostly for my own benefit, but hopefully the words I write here explaining the declouding will help others as they work through all of the head stuff that plays such a major part in this weight loss thing.

Right now, I’ve got the living healthy thing down. I know what good food is, I love exercise, and I can recognize that my body feels better when I treat it well. I’ve kind of enjoyed mentally adjusting to the weight range I’ve been hovering in since September (185ish)– I can shop for clothes in normal stores, I am in better athletic shape than probably 65% of twenty-somethings, I don’t stand out as a fat person (even though in my head I still think I do, but that’s another discussion), don’t have to check the weight-limit on chairs, and can easily fit in single seats on the subway. For the first time in my life, my weight doesn’t define my day to day actions. It’s pretty cool. And it’s a big mental switch. It’s been fine that the weight loss has been slow — there’s no rush in this. I’ve got my whole life to live here.

But I still definitely have at least 30 unnecessary pounds on this body of mine, and it would seem that, through numerous Sarah Brain Explorations over the past few weeks, I have finally figured out the next mental switch to start getting them off. Of course I’ll get to sharing that mental switch, but first let’s backstory into my brain, shall we? Glorious.

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