On Balancing Work, Self, and Healthiness

Yesterday, for the first time since April or so, I found the bottom of my work inbox. 

Also, for the first time in just about as long, I’m back on weight watchers and trying not to accidentally eat all of the food.

Probably a good thing, right? (that would be my weight tracking chart thing. as you can see, well. whoops)

So I was sitting down, ready to write about how, now that I don’t spend the whole day stressed and busy out of my mind, I can re-focus back on Sarah, and taking care of myself, rather than just making sure that I don’t self-destruct while I’m out of my mind busy. Then I was going to write about how I haven’t been blogging because I have been writing and accomplishing things all day at work, and I can’t stand to write and accomplish things when I get home.

Both of those are pretty lame, I’ve decided, so instead I’m going to write on, well, whatever comes out of my fingers right now.

Why does it take other people not constantly requesting my time for me to take ownership of my time and spend it in ways that best benefit & improve me?

I owe work 40 hours a week, but work can easily take over 60+, if I let it, especially because I absolutely adore the students who I employ and really enjoy working with my new(ish) colleague. The rest of those hours? I owe to myself. I can’t let the business & hecticness of those 40 hours impact the other 126, and clearly, I have been. A lot.

It’s a hard balance for a young professional to strike — we want to stand out in our jobs because we want to be recognized for our hard work (and get raises so we can afford loan payments), but if that is our focus, well, it’s easy to lose track of ourselves and where we want to end up in our lives (in both personal and professional realms, I suppose). It’s hard to say to the boss, “No, I can’t do that, because I have been working too much and need time for myself so I don’t self destruct or continue to become absurdly fat,” especially if you’re a perfectionist with control issues.

For a year or so, whenever anyone asked how work was, I’d say, “it’s fine, but it’s not the focus, you know?” Good answer, right? Even if work hasn’t been my mental focus for the past 6 months, I struggle to think of what my mental focus has been. Perhaps. Just not letting my mind go berserk because of work stuff? Trying to fit healthy stuff in where it fits? The focus definitely hasn’t been on Healthy Sarah Life Happy Time. I should trademark that.

I wish it didn’t take me getting to the bottom of my inbox & realizing that I’m picking outfits based on what pants fit in order to realize that Something Isn’t Right in terms of where my head is at, but it did.

The last 6 months haven’t been a loss, though. I found that I love eating vegan (and also that it’s possible to gain weight as a vegan if you Eat All of the Food), and I became a much stronger biker/runner, etc (even though my foot is messed up from that too much too fast vibram syndrome). I just need to get better at making myself my focus, because it is by doing that that I will end up the happiest, healthiest, and most successful version of myself.

Plus, with Option 1, I’ll also have time and energy to get better at writing in Paint with the trackpad.


5 Comments to “On Balancing Work, Self, and Healthiness”

  1. I ❤ you and I'm glad we're friends. Let's hang out again soon!

  2. Honesty, if that is what your weight chart looks like after you “eat all the things!” it isn’t so bad. Good for you catching it early! and I can’t wait to read more blogs.

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